Q: How’s it feel to be single?

Question: As a representative of life on Orcas Island, how do you feel about being a single cow?
– Group of ladies enjoying Enzos coffee
Answer: It’s been awhile, but I remember roolling in the hay! I enjooy the single life now and I believe it takes a darn goood mate to be better than noone!
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA

Q: What is your workday like?

Question: You say you are outstanding in your field, but I often see you laying down on the job. What is your workday like?
– Cudcerned Citzen
Answer: I’m glad yoou asked that; I ruuuminate many hoours a day which can be exhausting when you’re carrying such weight and responsibility. Just because you see me laying dooown dooesn’t mean I have stopped ruuminating on what’s best for oour toown and the wee bipeds. I just like to get oooff my hooves once in awhile.
In the interest of full discloosure, my assistant wants yoou to knoow that I am having hooof prooblems that we are treating with a special diet. I loove the variety of foods some of you bring me, yet I behooove you not to bring me food or treats so I may stick to my diet. I have no willpoower when it comes to the delicacies you offer my four stoomachs.
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA

Q: How now Brown Cow?

Answer: Like all great winners, I’m goooing to Disneyland!
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA– April

Hello constituents!

Gentle Bipeds,

Since my victoory in the mayooral race yoour questions have been poouring in. I am udderly impressed that yoou want me to ruuminate on yoour thoughts. Thank yoou.  I’m honored.

I’ve decided to publish your questions and my answers in this column. I will answer all questions I can as often as I can.  Read on and stay toooned.

Yours in service,
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA