Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA

Q: Will you add to the bull in politics?

Ask April — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 20:00:33 +0000

Question: Now, I have a real beef with all the bull in politics. Will you promise to always give your constituents the truth and not milk your position for greater political gains?
– Anonymous
Answer: In a wooord, “Yes.” As your mayor, there is nothing more politically satisfying than ruuuminating over the concerns of my beloooved bipeds and offering my best ideas.
– April, Honorary Mayor, Eastsound, WA

Q: What is God?

Ask April — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:58:44 +0000

Question: What is God?
– Farouk
Answer: God is whatever brings solace to your soul.
– April, Honorary Mayor, Eastsound, WA

Q: Are you concerned about fire safety?

Ask April — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:57:01 +0000

Question: Do you have a smoke alarms and a fire extinguisher in your barn?
– A Loyal Biped(concerned for your safety)
Answer: Does Mrs. O’Leary’s cow ring a bell? Legend has it that Mrs. O’Leary’s cow, Daisy, started the great Chicago fire of 1871. To my knowledge that was the last time a quadruped has been blamed for a major fire. That’s no accident. Since that day on, bovines everywhere have advocated for all buildings to have working fire alarms and extinguishers. Your timing of this question is excellent by the way; October 9-15 is Fire Prevention Week. Please make sure you have yours in place and they are in gooood working order. And I promise not to kick any lanterns.
– April, Honorary Mayor, Eastsound, WA

Q: What’s that clapping sound?

Ask April — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:53:08 +0000

Question: What is the sound of one hand clapping?
– Anonymous
Answer: Not having hands, I doon’t feel qualified to answer; however, it seems ooobvious to me that the sooound is dependent on that upon which you clap against!
– April, Honorary Mayor, Eastsound, WA

Q: Are you in support of motorcycle spaces?

Ask April — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 21:23:38 +0000

Question: Can you weigh in on the need for special motorcycle parking spaces in town?
– Local motorcycle enthusiast
Answer: Alaas, I cannoot cowment as I have never been moooved to get my license. I’ve yet to find a vehicle that I can sit in without my stoomachs hitting the steering wheel. Lately, however, I’ve been considering the purchase of a Cowasaki.
– April, Honorary Mayor, Eastsound, WA

Q: Are cow patties truly vegetarian?

Ask April — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 21:18:41 +0000

Question: What are your plans for April Fool’s Day? And are cow patties truly vegetarian?
– Greg from Eastsound
Answer: In answer to your first question, No comment. If I tooold yoou, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

Concerning vegetarian cow patties: When they’re fresh, yes, but when flies and bugs move in they are like little prootein sprinkles thus ruuining the vegetarian aspect.
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound

Q: What can we do about tansy?

Ask April — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 21:09:38 +0000

Question: Help! The tansy is blooming! You seem to know a lot about vegetation. What should I do? You’d be a sweetie to help me out.
– A green friend
Answer: You’re a goood green friend to be cowcerned about a noxious weed that has the ability to kill me and many of my quadruped friends.This is what our weed oofficials tell me:

The entire weed must be removed from all pasture land and hay fields. If you leave any parts of the pulled plant behind, the smell changes and the animals cannot recognize it and it sneaks into their dinner. (Tansy has been known to kill cattle right here on Orcas! Perish the thought.) Outside of the pastures and hayfields citizens need to remove the head (upper) portion of the plant and place in a garbage bag. Then pull the plant out by the roots and leave it behind to decompose.

For more information please call our friends at the county noxious weed control office, 360-376-3499.
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA

Q: How’s it feel to be single?

Ask April — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 21:01:40 +0000

Question: As a representative of life on Orcas Island, how do you feel about being a single cow?
– Group of ladies enjoying Enzos coffee
Answer: It’s been awhile, but I remember roolling in the hay! I enjooy the single life now and I believe it takes a darn goood mate to be better than noone!
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA

Q: What is your workday like?

Ask April — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 20:54:00 +0000

Question: You say you are outstanding in your field, but I often see you laying down on the job. What is your workday like?
– Cudcerned Citzen
Answer: I’m glad yoou asked that; I ruuuminate many hoours a day which can be exhausting when you’re carrying such weight and responsibility. Just because you see me laying dooown dooesn’t mean I have stopped ruuminating on what’s best for oour toown and the wee bipeds. I just like to get oooff my hooves once in awhile.
In the interest of full discloosure, my assistant wants yoou to knoow that I am having hooof prooblems that we are treating with a special diet. I loove the variety of foods some of you bring me, yet I behooove you not to bring me food or treats so I may stick to my diet. I have no willpoower when it comes to the delicacies you offer my four stoomachs.
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA

Q: How now Brown Cow?

Ask April — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 20:46:28 +0000

Answer: Like all great winners, I’m goooing to Disneyland!
– April, Honorary Mayor of Eastsound, WA– April